Final Addendum

We are all flawed individuals. God made us that way, and the ambiguity of choice is a great burden & responsibility bestowed upon us, the seed of original sin.  With those choices we shape the form of who we are and the path we take. On many matters those around us influence us directly or indirectly, but the decision is always solely ours.

Our choices are not always the correct ones. In those mistakes we can see our frailties, and some of them run deeper than others. A few run so deep they can cut to the core of who we are. As flawed and frail as we can be, our reasons for our choices should never be our excuses from taking responsibility. As we walk, crawl or run through life, there are times we trip & fall. And if we use our reasons as excuses we are bound to trip again.

The foundation we build today is part of the pillar we lean on the next. When we do fall and our bonds are strong enough, our family & friends will lend a hand & a shoulder even when we do not deserve it. Though we bear the burdens of our flaws and sins, our friends don’t allow them to define all we are, as heavy as they may be. 

When I was most foul and unforgivable, my friends insisted I was better than my transgressions. It was not a matter of forgetting but turning a dark note into a positive lesson. Just because we do not condemn a person, does not mean we condone their actions. Pray for the wisdom to distinguish the difference, the heart to forgive, and courage to forge onwards and build anew. It would have been easier for many of my friends to simplify matters and demonize me. In a stark world of black & white, there exists little room for complexity because if we acknowledge the complexity of matters we might travel down a path of understanding. It is easier to forgive a flawed human; it is another matter with a monster.

We are all flawed individuals. God made us that way, and the ambiguity of choice is a great burden & responsibility bestowed upon us. Many times our choices prove to be in error. By the grace of God, sometimes we may be given a chance to atone. And in that moment our decisions will greatly reflect on capacity to learn from our previous choices.

Sometimes there still lingers a sadness in my heart for what I was capable of doing. And how I could neglect the consequences and afflict someone close. . . It is a sadness beyond who I am, one born from what I chose to do.